Coaching

  I KNOW IT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR TRAINERS LIKE ME TO BE ABLE TO HOLD PEOPLE’S ATTENTION, AS AN ATTENTIVE AUDIENCE MEANS THE TRAINER IS DELIVERING VALUE. WHEN THIS HAPPENS IT FURTHER BOOSTS THE TRAINERS’ MORALE WHEN THEY SEE EAGER FACES GLUED ON THEM. 
I AM ALSO AWARE THAT THE OPPOSITE IS ALSO TRUE WHEN THE AUDIENCE BECOMES MORE INTERESTED IN THEMSELVES RATHER THAN LISTENING TO YOU, FOR IT SAPS US TRAINERS OF OUR MORALE AND MOOD. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING TO ME FOR QUITE A WHILE. 
I NOW HAVE TO RESOLVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS LEST MY TRAINING BUSINESS ENDS UP DISAPPOINTINGLY, WHICH I HOPE WILL NOT HAPPEN. WHAT SHOULD I DO? 

All in all, it is really about your communication skills and your lack of empathy for the audience. 
The first rule of thumb to be aware of is the maximum amount of time you can hold a person’s attention, which is 20 minutes (if you are lucky). The reason is people think about five times as fast as a person can speak, which explains why they can get distracted easily. So if you do not do something in your delivery style to address this reality, you can expect interest to wane, and soon you may end up with nobody in the class. 
There are a few actions you can take. One of the most effective is to ensure that you speak in short sentences with many pauses in between. When you do this, you will get their attention and they will unconsciously slow down their minds and you will then capture their attention. 
Another action is to watch people’s moods. Should you sense that they are tired, sleepy or losing concentration, let them “take five” so they can go for a quick break to wash their face, take a cup of coffee or even smoke a cigarette and so forth. In fact, it is highly encouraged not to go beyond an hour without a break. 
One other thing is to be well engaged with the audience so that they “like” you, and you can use this to prolong their attention span a little. Also, work towards reducing the lectures and replacing them with more facilitation where you use questions to keep people’s minds hooked on finding answers. 
Finally (which should be the first), set ground rules to instil discipline on ethical conduct (like phone calls and attending quick meetings between training sessions), which can also help the situation further. 

POWERFUL QUESTIONS: 
WHAT DO PEOPLE SAY ABOUT THE WAY YOU TRAIN? 
How can you change your delivery to arouse their interest? 
What do you want to achieve? 
What is still missing? 
What new commitments are you prepared to make in changing your delivery style? 

LISTENING THE RIGHT WAY
ALTHOUGH I KNOW THE GREAT IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING AND THE BENEFITS THAT COME ALONG WITH IT, I HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO DO THIS WELL. WHILE I TRY TO FOCUS HARD ON MY LISTENING, I CANNOT STOP THE DISTURBANCES, THE INNER CONVERSATIONS AND THE NOISES GOING INTO MY HEAD. SO WHEN THE OTHER PARTY MAKES REFERENCES TO KEY MESSAGES THAT HE OR SHE HAS SAID, I ACTUALLY GO BLANK, AS I CANNOT REMEMBER HEARING THEM. 
I AM FRUSTRATED BY THIS, AND DESPITE THE ADVICE GIVEN BY MY FRIENDS AND TRAINERS ON WHAT I SHOULD DO, I STILL CANNOT MAKE MUCH HEADWAY. IS THERE SOMETHING I CAN LEARN TO MAKE ME BETTER AT LISTENING?

The truth is you have not learned to calm your busy mind. You are what you are because everything is urgent, and that puts you in an action mode as you are always rushing down the busy “highway of your life” to attend to many activities. In such a mental state, how can you listen when past and future issues keep bothering you all the time Even the best listener will fail. 
To listen really well, you need to stay calm, in a state where you stay in the present without allowing the past or the future to bother you. 
This requires consistent practice where you commit yourself to spending quiet time with yourself while learning to breathe. To do this, find a quiet place to sit. Then close your eyes and concentrate only on the air that goes in and out of your nostrils. When you anchor on this, you will find your mind starting to learn not to wander. 
It may be difficult at the beginning, as your busy mind still needs time to learn to stay calm and be in the present. 
But once you master this, you can use your calm mind to concentrate on listening, and other things as well. 

POWERFUL QUESTIONS: 
WHAT GOES ON IN YOUR MIND WHEN YOU ARE TRYING TO LISTEN? 
WHAT CAUSES THIS? 
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF THE LISTENING TO OTHERS? 
HOW COMMITTED ARE YOU NOW TO LEARN THE CALMING TECHNIQUES? 

DR MICHAEL HEAH has master certification from the International Coach Federation. He provides personal coaching services and also coach certification programmes. Check him out at www.corporate-coachacade?my.com or e-mail at seminar@cor?porate-coach.com.